Communicating with Others

Chapter 3

“Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.” – 1 Corinthians 13:4-7

Have I ever over analyzed what another person said and what they really meant? Or tried to read between the lines? Or wondered why a person never responded to my voice message, text message, or email? Of course! I do it all the time!! What did she mean by that or did I say something wrong for them not to respond. I can make up the most imaginative explanations for a person’s actions and “what if scenarios”. I even analyze myself…maybe I should have said this or that and then they would have responded differently. All of this takes up a lot of wasted time that could be put to good use somewhere else. The author uses 1 Corinthians 13 as a guideline for taking everything at face value. I could seriously decrease half of my wandering thoughts and made up scenarios by not speculating on what a person says or doesn’t say. I have to remember to belief what a person says and to not think there is anything wrong. If the person thinks there is something wrong, then they have to come to me, instead of me speculating there is something wrong. Believing what a person says is a very hard thing to do, because so many people lie. I’ve lied most of my life to any and everyone, from my parents to friends to colleagues to bosses to coaches. It’s hard to change my mindset to believe people are honest and when they tell me something it is the truth. The part in the passage, “does not take into account a wrong suffered,” is my biggest weakness. If someone has wronged me in the past, then why should I believe him this time. Well, how about because the Bible says so, God says so.

The other issue I sometimes have is I like to get another person’s perspective on the issue. I suppose one may call that gossiping. If I think a person has lied to my face or told me a story, instead of going to that person, I usually go and get someone else’s take on the issue. This is also true if I know it vs. think it. Jesus says in Matthew 18:15, “If your brother sins, go and show him his fault in private.” Jesus doesn’t say go and tell everyone and then confront the person.

Usually I know when I have offended someone with my speech or behavior, because there is a nagging feeling in my stomach. If I get this feeling, instead of analyzing what the other person thinks or doesn’t think. I just need to return to that person and apologize for my actions.

It all comes back to thinking on what is real and true, and not going any further with the thoughts. No more second-guessing!