I’ll be the first to admit that I have had urges, and sometimes I acted on them while other times I did not. I started having urges when I was in elementary school, and I didn’t really understand what they were until I was older. I also will admit that every time I acted on them it was due to one of the above actions. I was introduced to explicit stories when I was in middle school from some high school friends. I thought it was normal and there was nothing wrong with it. As I long as I didn’t have sex with a guy, everything else was okay. But is this what God says is right, no? 1 Thessalonians 4:2-8 says, “For you know what commandments we gave you by the authority of the Lord Jesus. For this is the will of God, your sanctification; that is, that you abstain from sexual immorality; that each of you know how to possess his own vessel in sanctification and honor, not in lustful passion, like the Gentiles who do not know God; and that no man transgress and defraud his brother in the matter because the Lord is the avenger in all these things, just as we also told you before and solemnly warned you. For God has not called us for the purpose of impurity, but in sanctification. So, he who rejects this is not rejecting man but the God who gives His Holy Spirit to you.”
Sexual immorality. Not in lustful passion. Impurity. Am I still pure in the sense that I have not engaged in sexual intercourse with a man, yes. On the other hand, am I still pure by acting on lustful thoughts and allowing fantasies to play out in my mind, no. For was it not Jesus who said having lust in the heart was just as sinful as committing adultery (Matthew 5:28-29).
If a person can masturbate without using sinful materials or having sinful thoughts, then I do not believe it is sin. God forbids several sexual acts from fornication (Acts 15:29) to having sex with animals (Exodus 22:19) to having sex with prostitutes (1 Cor. 6:15), so why is there no mention of masturbation in the bible, then? I think because it is not a sin as long as the motivations/urges to masturbate are not sinful in nature. 1 Corinthians 4:6 says, “Now these things, brethren, I have figuratively applied to myself and Apollos for your sakes, so that in us you may learn not to exceed what is written, so that no one of you will become arrogant in behalf of one against the other.” I interpret this verse as saying when people are trying to lead others to Christ they must use His Word as Rule without adding things that are not found in it.
Today I listened to a Q&A lecture session by Beth Moore and Christy Nockels from a Living Proof live event back in 2006. One of the questions asked was, is masturbation bondage or healthy, and how do we break free from it? Below are some of the excerpts from the answer (I paraphrased in parts, so it’s definitely not word for word):
“We’ll just self gratify and then when we get married then we’ll have our husband for that. Unfortunately, it is still two different things. If we’re thinking that’s just what we’re going to do and then when we start having sex with our husband then that’s going to take that up and I won’t have to self gratify anymore. That’s not true. It still stays as its own separate thing. It’s a fantasy life now that has had multiple partners and we think then we’re going to think about one guy for the rest of our lives. There is nothing about it that builds into healthy sexuality. It’s as addictive as any drug/cigarette that you could take/smoke.”
“Our culture keeps our carnal appetite in arousal.”
“The enemy is trying to vastly decrease the step between temptation and participation. Temptation is never a sin. It’s not will we let it run through our minds, it’s whether we will let it sit down and make it home for a little while. We’ll still continue to watch an R rated movie and then we’re gonna go to bed and expect not to be in a state of arousal. We’re setting ourselves up for failure because of stuff we’re reading, watching, and talking about.”
“Don’t expose yourself to that because you’re awaking it. We’ve got ourselves in such a state of arousal there is a need to release it. You are either going to give way to it or get up & do something else.”
I really thought the example about the R rated movie was very true and practical in today’s society. You can’t tell me that if you watch Original Sin, Unfaithful, Eyes Wide Shut, Kissing Jessica Stein (for the confused), and pretty much any movie with Angelina Jolie (and her usual hot co-star) you do not experience some sort of arousal. Then let’s not even get into the state of arousal a woman and man can experience while dancing with one another at a club (and of course then having to restrain their selves from acting on any of the urges they have experienced). And finally pornographic material, there is nothing good that can come from it other than self-gratification (which is not of God).
A verse I came across today for the first time, where I actually took the time to read it and meditate on it was 1 Peter 4:1-2. “Therefore, since Christ has suffered in the flesh, arm yourselves also with the same purpose, because he who has suffered in the flesh has ceased from sin, so as to live the rest of the time in the flesh no longer for the lusts of men, but for the will of God.” I think this passage is absolutely perfect when you dig deep into it!!! If I am truly of Christ, then I will suffer in the flesh just as He did. When I have the urges of the flesh and want to act sinfully, I must resist these temptations. It may be painful but again remember that pain is just part of bearing the cross. I can apply this verse to so many areas of my life but one definite area is refraining from masturbation.
If you haven’t read 1 Corinthians 6:12-20, then you definitely should! It talks about how the body is the Lord’s and not yours. This section has really shined a light on how consuming alcohol and self-injury are not good for the body God has given me (and a lot of others things). Below is one of the verses from the section that I feel relates to this topic.
1 Corinthians 6:18 - "Flee immorality. Every other sin that a man commits is outside the body, but the immoral man sins against his own body."
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